Tarnish:
 The Grimy Side of the Silver State
Our Motto: "It's only libel if it isn't true--then it's satire."


Welcome to Tarnish, which is an anagram for the word "trash" but with "n" and "i" left over. Seriously, Tarnish is a publication dedicated to shining the cold, unforgiving light of cynicism upon Northern Nevada and watching the various objects of scrutiny run for cover, just like cockroaches but without their wholesomeness and grace. Tarnish would also like to point out that its journalistic integrity is on par with the finest news sources in the world--Useless News and World Distort, Slime magazine, the Boston Probe, Peep-Hole magazine, Snoozeweek, and our local bastions of accuracy, the Reno Gazoo-Urinal and the Sparks Tribute to Illiteracy--meaning that we have none, but at least we're honest about it. For those of you who haven't guessed, Tarnish is a satire site. If you lack a sense of humor, are naive, or are just plain stupid, we suggest you hang out with some kindred losers. Otherwise, it's all the baloney you can stomach.

Tarnish Top Stories:
Trooth in Advertising Ronald McDonald: Candid Photo!
Trooth in Advertising Be Less with PBS
Critical Information! Nevada's Thinnest Books
Critical Information! The Three Wise Men, Revisited
Critical Information! Thumbnail Descriptions of Newspapers and Magazines
Almost News! Nevada Department of Tourism Unveils Challenge to Disneyland
Almost News! Gov. Guinn Says Enlargement Pills Work, Screws State
Almost News! Gov. Guinn Calls Self "Stud Monkey"--Women Expected to Swoon Statewide
Almost News! Guinn Detractors Discard Recall Effort, Mount Tar and Feather Campaign
Top Ten Captions Top Ten Captions: People Are Sheep
Pictures Are Priceless George Lucas: Priceless
Almost News! New Academy Awards Announced
Pictures Are Priceless Tom Daschle: Priceless
Almost News! A Handy Guide to Differentiate Democrats and Republicans
Exclusive Report New Categories Announced for Nobel Prize
New Research What If Children Were Named After Where They Were Conceived?
Exclusive Report Clinton's Farewell Speech to Congress
Exclusive Report Eggs Classified as Deadly Weapons
International News India Quake Originally Centered in Pasadena
New Research Top 25 Things You Won't Hear a Californian Say


Tarnish Features
Almost News! More Stories that are Almost News!
California Buys Nevada for $1.5 Billion Governor Gray Davis Seals CA Border
Government Study Finds Nevada Ideal for Specialized Agriculture Tobacco Manufacturer Retracts Apology
Shocking Results of "N" Vanity Plate Drivers Arkansas Passes White Trash Cleanup Law; Bill and Hillary Banned for Life
Nevada's High School Seniors Score Higher Than Arthropods Nevada Changes State Motto From "All for Our Country" to "Hump 'n' Dump"
Debut of New Artificial Politician Coming Soon: Minnie Leaves Mickey for Goofy, Takes Pluto and Half of Everything
"DMV Under Siege," Says Dickland Coming Soon: Hollywood Squares Honored as California's Deepest Thinkers.
Resumes with Attitude: Job Applicants Tell the Ugly Truth Coming Soon: Viewers Declare in Unison, "Television Sucks!"
Scientists Prove Plants Feel Pain, Vegans Face Starvation Coming Soon: Study Determines Congress Belongs Behind Bars.
Brain Transplant Scheduled; Donor Needed Coming Soon: Reality TV Found Even Worse Than Real Life.
College Graduates Become Northern Nevada's #2 Export -
Billions for Failure Director says, "We Need More Money." -
State Introduces "Smog" License Plate for 2001 -
Tarnish Scientists Identify What's Wrong With California -
Tarnish Scientists Identify What's Wrong With Nevada, Oregon, and Arizona -
Getting a Job in Northern Nevada -


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And for crying out loud, visit the fantastically brilliant folks who are kind enough to sponsor us, Department 13 Designs. They obviously don't keep track of what we're doing here, and are in no way responsible for our sarcasm. We kiss their feet (smooch!). Thanks, guys.

All materials herein are copyright Tarnish, 2003. Don't be a jerk and rip off our site - just add a link and share the joy. If you laughed, that's great! If you were insulted, even better!! Tarnish is an equal opportunity offender.