"Getting a Job in Northern Nevada" A Long Hard Look...

Getting a Job in Northern Nevada

RENO--For those of you seeking employment in the northern Nevada area, Tarnish suggests you keep a few things in mind while job hunting.


1. Most employers here are morons, that's why there are so many chain stores.

2. Chain stores regularly put local firms out of business, so your best bet for steady work is fry cook at a fast food joint. You'll have better benefits and more job security than most casino executives.

3. Nobody in the region has a degree or any relevant experience.

4. If you have a degree you're unemployable because you're overqualified.

5. If you have experience, you're more qualified than your potential boss.

6. If you're more qualified than you're boss, you'll never get hired.

7. Nothing happens quickly here.

8. Lighting a fire under HR is the only way they'll do any work.

9. HR can't read, so your resume had better look pretty. We recommend using crayon.

10. The fax machine where you're applying is out of paper, so your resume will be lost.

11. The email system is beyond HR's ability to master. Your resume, along with hundreds of other messages, will be deleted unread.

12. The local postal service will lose your resume before you even mail it. You just can't beat that kind of efficiency.

13. Walk-ins are the only real way to get a job in the region. For this reason, they are actively discouraged.

14. Walk-ins allow prospective employees to see where they might work. This is another reason they are actively discouraged.

15. Recruiters are no help. They just collect resumes and trade them with their friends.

16. Don't be fooled by the title "network administrator." This is just another way of describing involvement with a Scamway Ponzi scheme. You'll still end up selling soap.


Is there hope? Yes, sort of. More companies are coming to northern Nevada, despite all the efforts of local government to discourage this. They need skilled janitors and day laborers who can count to seven and are more than willing to hire locals to fill these positions. Unfortunately, they import employees who will fill critical duties such as clerical work and disregard local applicants as being unqualified. Our advice is simple--act stupid. Once you're hired, you can easily plot to take over the company from within. Good luck and use your power wisely.