"Tarnish Classified Ads"

"Tarnish Classified Ads" Tarnish Classified Ads

WANTED--Batteries: will take all types from hearing aid to truck batteries. The more you have, the better. Name your price. Email governor@stateofcalifornia.com.

FOR SALE--Beautiful Minden and Gardnerville, Nevada. Yes, both Minden and Gardnerville are for sale, dirt cheap! We have no zoning laws or infrastructure as well as a semi-literate populace. Special incentives for businesses who decide to relocate here including tax holidays and discounts at the local YMCA. Contact the Minden/Gardnerville Chamber of Commerce.

WANTED--John Cowperthwaite. Please run for NV governor in 2002. We WILL make it worth your while.

WANTED--Tourists!! Tired of getting caught in snow storms every time you go to Reno? Stay in sunny San Francisco. Treasure Island Gambler's Paradise will be opening in 2005. We'll see you there.

MWPM SEEKING WOMEN--Naughty, naughty former Commander-in-Chief wants you. Let me show you why I got impeached. Send pics first email. bill@badboypresident.com

WANTED--Jurors for California criminal trials. Wanna be on TV? Just sign up to be a California juror. Must be 21 or older. Highly illogical and naive persons encouraged to apply. EOE, nonsmoking workplace.