A Long Hard Look...

Nevada High School Students Score Higher Than Arthropods

CARSON CITY--Local educators are resting on their laurels after the results of standardized tests administered to Nevada High School seniors were posted recently. The scores indicate that the majority of Nevada students scored higher, on average, than arthropods. "Insects are deceptively intelligent," said a spokesperson for the Nevada League for Smarter Teens. "They're particularly good at the natural sciences." Indeed, bugs outscored the humans in biology, chemistry, and physics. High school students did exceptionally well in literature compared to their six-legged counterparts.

When asked by Tarnish if their test scores reflected their true intellectual capacities, a group of high school seniors collectively said, "Uhhh, yeah." Other comments were made concerning school spirit and a party last weekend, but in general, students appeared to be confident in their mental accuity.

Overall, the test results indicate definite progress, but educators are quick to comment that improvement is still necessary. Having edged out arthropods, the NLST feels that the next decade should be spent getting student math scores on par with the perennial top scorers: barnyard animals. The NLST spokesperson concluded that, "I think what's really important are (sic) that students feel good about themself (sic)."